i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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