thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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