I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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