I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
