I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
