i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
