her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
