I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
