guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
