I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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