you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
