ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
