I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
