he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
