the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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