Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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