Me too!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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