but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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