So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
