hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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