The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You've changed since you got that strap on
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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