I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i dont even know how to be here
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
