My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think weed is turning my hair brown
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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