what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
