oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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