Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
