Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
