If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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