More tranny stories later!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
