FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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