Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
