If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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