If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
