how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
