You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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