He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
