He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
