I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
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Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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