I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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