Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
then he tried to convert me to islam
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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