chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
