Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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