Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
