what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize