I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize