your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
