How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
