I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
