I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
