Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
