i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
