Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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