I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
