CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
