Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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