Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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