sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
