pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
