does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
