You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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