we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
