My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
