I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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