Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
