the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
