Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
