I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
