I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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