I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
