I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
